Raboyseyee and Ladies,
We begin with very exciting and happy news. The heylige Ois and eishes chayil are thrilled to wish a big warm mazel tov to Miriam Rosen, she, the beautiful daughter -with a smile to light up any room- of our friends Malki and Phil Rosen upon her very recent engagement to Yonatan Kerstein, he the son of Irit and Donny Kerstein. Mazel tov to both extended families and a special mazel tov to Babby Sara Leifer. May Miriam and Yonatan merit to enjoy many decades of blissful marriage. We look forward to participating in this great simcha.
And a big mazel tov to our friends Bonnie and Heshie Schertz upon the birth of a grandson born to their children Elissa and Adam Kirshner. May baby Kirshner – to be named Sunday IM’H- bring much joy to his parents, grandparents and both extended families.
Mixed Messages, Underserved Gifts & Magic Pants
Here is the bottom line: Men’s suits, and particularly the pants -even when tailored properly lichatchila (when first purchased), are not constructed to withstand the steady kosher diet of kugil, kishke, challah, bread, cookies, cake, v’chulhu vi’chulhu (and so on and so forth). By the time a man gets home from the shul kiddish -or multiples thereof, as many partake in more than one- the pants are tight around the waist and that’s how it goes. Stomachs swell then bulge and it takes until the following Friday for the pants to close properly. The cycle begins anew. Avada this is also emes -and worse- when returning from the mandatory Pesach and Sukkis getaways, the kosher cruise, and other such venues.
Geloibt der Abishter (thank you to Hashem), that in 1959, DuPont scientist (Joseph C. Shivers) invented Spandex and shoin: In our times, especially so in the last 15 years, stretchy pants -yoga, athleisure, and even dress pants, have some give and can mamish accommodate the gorging Yiddin have become accustomed to. Ober is that emes? Were stretchy pants mamish invented in 1959? By Dupont? More on that below, ober let us begin with some parsha.
Let’s set the scene: it’s the 40th year since redemption from slavery and the Yiddin -restless avada from valgering around (roaming about aimlessly), doing not much at all, still managed to get into all sorts of trouble with the RBSO. That being started as fact, nevertheless, trough Moishe, the RBSO has told the Yiddin over and again that they are indeed heading to the Promised Land. Moishe is but a few weeks from his 120th birthday -the day he will pass away. And Welcome to Parshas Eikev where Moishe continues this last of his orations and this week, it is one lengthy confusing message.
On the one hand, since Parshas Devorim two weeks back, Moishe has been berating the Yiddin and reminding them of kimat every sin committed over the past forty years. The list is long and includes the big ones. This week, he pays special attention to the sin of the eygel (golden calf) for which, according to the heylige Gemora and others, we continue to get punished thousands of years later. Is that emes? Is that how the RBSO rolls? Punishment after repentance? Thousands of years later? What chances do we -most of you- have? Yikes! Seemingly it’s so, and taka so sayeth the heylige Gemora in both versions. Both versions? What’s that? Though most of you have not finished one, here is a reminder that the heylige Gemora was redacted in Yirusholayim and over in Bovel (Babylonia). In fact, the Jerusalem Talmud predates its counterpart, the Babylonian Talmud (known in Hebrew as the Talmud Bavli), by about a century. It was compiled between the late fourth century to the first half of the fifth century.
Why the Bavli version became so popular while the Jerusalem Talmud continues to struggle for some recognition, ver veyst, but it so happens that the vastly studied -and translated into many languages- Babylonian Talmud seemingly had, and continues to enjoy better marketing and branding. You can bet that Art Scroll sells at least 20 Bavlis for every single Yirushalmi. So happens that they both agree on this one point. Says the heylige Gemora Yerushalmi (Taanis 4:5), azoy:
ר’ יודן בשם ר’ יסא: ”אין כל דור ודור שאין בו אונקי אחת מחטא של עגל…“
Rabbi Yudin said in the name of Rabbi Yossa: “There is no generation that doesn’t have at a least a particle of the sin of the golden calf.”
Similarly, the heylige Gemora Bavli (Sanhedrin 102a) states this:אמר ר’ יצחק: ”אין לך כל פורענות ופורענות שבאה לעולם שאין בה אחד מעשרים וארבעה בהכרע ליטרא של עגל הראשון.“
Reb Yitzchok said: “No retribution whatsoever comes upon the world which does not contain a slight fraction (a twenty-fourth) of the [retribution for] first calf (i.e., the golden calf in the wilderness).”
And says Rashi (Shmois 32:34) where the eygel caper is revealed, azoy: Though immediate punishment was meted out and people lost their lives for this gross violation, וְאֵין פֻּרְעָנוּת בָּאָה עַל יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁאֵין בָּהּ קְצָת מִפִּרְעוֹן עֲוֹן הָעֵגֶל
“No punishment ever comes upon Israel in which there is not part payment for the sin of the golden calf.”
Well, blow me down! Is the RBSO more womanlike who never forgets? Oy vey! Ober, how can this be? Isn’t this a contradiction of a concept we will be covering in a few (Devorim 24:16) weeks where we learn that parents shall not be put to death for children, nor children be put to death for parents? It is!
לֹֽא־יוּמְת֤וּ אָבוֹת֙ עַל־בָּנִ֔ים וּבָנִ֖ים לֹא־יוּמְת֣וּ עַל־אָב֑וֹת אִ֥יש בְּחֶטְא֖וֹ יוּמָֽתוּ׃
A person shall be put to death only for his own crime. And even though that posik says “death,” the heylige Ois recalls learning that it’s not just referring to death, but for punishments in general. How is it shayich that we – who never partook in the sin of the golden calf- should be punished for it in 2024? All that for another day; that topic requires many pages, too many.
Did the Gemora state these factoids only after learning this week’s parsha where Moishe spends a good number of pisukim reminding the Yiddin of their past misdeeds? Is it proper and acceptable behavior to remind people of their past sins? Shoin, that topic too is hotly debated elsewhere in the heylige Gemora but for now, let’s go veyter.
Moishe rebukes the Yiddin telling them not to think that they merited the Land of Israel because of their righteousness; they are only getting the land because of the promise to the patriarchs. Well, blow me down: it appears from Moishe’s words that the Yiddin -mamish about to enter land- were still not deserving, not quite ready for prime time. They remained -says the parsha this week (9:5), a stiff-necked people undeserving of the land. Stiffness, if you chap, also got them into other troubles as you no doubt recall form the story of the Moabite harlots. Not to worry: Moishe -ever the sentimentalist- will mention those as well. Ober, let us read words from our parsha.
“Not for your righteousness, or for the uprightness of your heart, do you go in to possess their land; but for the wickedness of these nations, Hashem your G-d does drive them out from before you, and that He may establish the word which Hashem swore unto your fathers, to Avrohom, to Yitzchok, and to Yaakov.”
What’s pshat here? Did we ever mamish have a real claim to the land? Was it given to us on merit? Or, as an underserved gift? Did the Yiddin get to enter and occupy the land undeservingly? Is our claim to the Land of Israel based only on the patriarchal covenant? And how did the Yiddin feel when hearing this after 40 years of wandering around the midbar? Were these motivating words? They will possess it because of the commitments that the RBSO made to their patriarchs? That’s it? The nations -its current occupants- of the land will be dispossessed because of their wickedness? Moishe then proceeds to enumerate the various grave sins that the Yiddin committed in the wilderness. He speaks at length of the sin of the Eygel. He mentions various other failings. His message is that the Yiddin have not earned and do not deserve this wonderful gift.
Let’s also read this amazing quote from no lesser a giant among men than Moishe himself. Said he to the Yiddin (Devorim 9:1-7) azoy: “Listen Israel, today you are about to cross the Jordan to conquer and inherit the land of the nations greater and stronger than you, cities enormous and fortified up to the heavens; a people big and tall, sons of giants whom you know (and who inspire fear in all around them); know that you will conquer them, but not because you deserve it! Remember; don’t forget how you angered the Lord in the desert.” Did you read that? The Yiddin were still not land worthy. Were they ever?
On the other hand, let’s read the words Moishe used but one Perek earlier (Devorim 8:2-3):
And you shall remember all the way which Hashem your G-d led you these forty years in the wilderness, that He might afflict you, to test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments, or not. And He afflicted you, and caused you to suffer hunger, and fed you with manna, which you knew not, neither did your fathers know; that He might make you know that man does not live by bread only, but by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of Hashem does man live.
Ober, did the Yiddin pass the test? Were they land worthy? The entire forty-year wilderness experience was seemingly but one long extended test of the Yiddin? It evaluated the nation’s commitment to the commandments? It assessed whether the Yiddin could be expected to observe the commandments in the Land of Israel? The implication of Moishe’s comments is that the Yiddin somehow passed this test. Zicher the RBSO graded them with a very generous curve. In our parsha, the Yiddin are poised to enter the land and to possess it. They have come to this point and have this opportunity because they have proven themselves land worthy over the course of their forty-year journey in the wilderness.
The bottom line: it’s headache time as we have two different messages. What we have is a contradiction mamish in Moishe’s fundamental message. First, he tells the nation that they have been tested and proven worthy to enter and possess the Land. Ober, next he tells them that in no sense are they worthy of this gift. They have repeatedly failed the RBSO and proven unfaithful. Nonetheless, they will possess the land because of the RBSO’s commitment to their forefathers and because of the wickedness of those nations that now occupy it. The bottom line: We can only imagine how bad the others were.
The bottom line: Seemingly, though not land-worthy, the news was still good! Moishe will go on to tell the Yiddin that though their behavior was at times less than admirable and at other times quite despicable, the nations that were at the time occupying that very land, were much worse. Shoin! He continues and says: “It is not because of your virtues and rectitude that you will be able to possess their country; but it is because of their wickedness that the Lord your G-d is dispossessing those nations before you, and in order to fulfill the oath that the Lord made to your fathers… ” Moishe will then, as do our wives, become historical and remind the Yiddin of their various and frequent defiance in the RBSO’s ways. Seemingly, Moishe’s intent was to have the Yiddin acknowledge that they were taka not land worthy and that it was only due to the benevolence of the RBSO and His promise to our forefathers which was allowing them entry.
There is more good news this week: With but two weeks to go before Choidesh Ellul rolls in and with Rosh Hashono, the ‘aseres yimay teshuva,’ and Yom Kippur not far behind – mamish on the horizon- let’s keep all that in mind: You are taka bad but there are many others who are seemingly much worse. When being judged, it may all depend against whom. This may be our best defense. Are we and our myriad bad deeds standing alone in judgment? Or, are we being compared to someone else? Ver veyst?
The bottom lines: It could efsher be argued that the words Moishe chose to admonish the Yiddin do not diminish their spirit and connection to the Promised Land; farkert (opposite may be true)! We could argue that Moishe was explaining to the Yiddin that their connection to the land is not dependent on their righteousness, because it is beyond the deeds and behavior of any one generation. In other words: the Yiddin are taka stiff-necked sinners and that’s not changing. The connection between the people of Israel and the Land of Israel is based on a divine covenant since the days of the patriarchs, and therefore it is an eternal connection that can never be undone! Mamish a relief. If our connection to the Land depended on the righteousness of a particular generation, a situation could arise in which a sinful generation would sever the connection between the people and the land. Did Moishe therefore find it appropriate to emphasize that the connection between the people and the Land is instead based on a divine covenant? Coud be and hopefully so.
Shoin, earlier the heylige Ois asked if in fact Mr. Shivers, a Dupont employee, first invented stretchy pants in 1959. Did he? Was he the first? Seemingly not! The emes raboyseyee is azoy: the RBSO in our parsha, dating back to 2448, was the original inventor of stretchy long lasting pants.
Let’s read how Moishe boasted to the Yiddin about stretchy pants. Said Moishe in our Parsha (8:4), azoy: “Your garments did not wear out upon you (remember these last two words) and your feet did not swell, these forty years.” Why was Moishe talking about garments and feet? Nu, as you will or should recall, Moishe, who began pontificating back in Parshas Devorim, is still speaking. In our parsha, he is giving a charge to the graduating class of 2488, those now destined to enter the Promised Land. He is -as discussed on the previous 5 or so pages- alternatively reminding them of their poor behavior and at the same time telling them that the RBSO still has their backs. Seemingly their feet as well. Ober what do these words mean? Nu, let’s see what Rashi, who knew more about everything than anyone else, has to say.
What’s pshat that their clothing did not wear out? Was the durability of the clothing a natural phenomenon? Or, was this a ness min hashomayim (miracle)? Says Rashi: the clouds of Glory (the ahnaney hakovoid) would rub their clothes and whiten them -think bleaching- making them look -at all times- like freshly whitened garments. You hear this raboyseyee? Is the RBSO great or what? Not just did the clothing always look clean and crisp, bleach too was provided by the magical clouds of glory. Moreover, says Rashi: “Likewise, their young, as they would grow, their clothing would grow with them.” OMG! Why it took until 2012 for manufactures to chap this concept, ver veyst? Remember those two words from posik daled, “upon you?” Says the Mizrachi: not just did the RBSO provide clouds which washed and bleached their clothing, the entire process took place while the Yiddin were fully dressed and wearing their clothing. We need to assume that washing machines did not exist in the midbar. Then again, who needs a washing machine or a Chinese laundry, when one has the RBSO taking care of all their laundering needs which included washing, bleaching, and the stretching of clothing and shoes? And Rashi knows this how and from where? From the posik we read earlier and specifically from the two words “upon you.” The entire magical washing -including bleaching- took place while the Yiddin either slept or went about their daily routines. Gishmak, ober, does everyone agree? Of course not!
Says the Ibn Ezra: the reason the clothing always looked clean and did not wear out is quite simple: as they left Mitzrayim (Egypt), they packed many sets of clothing. In other words: no miracles were involved. This pshat makes some sense. Why? When was the last time you saw Yiddin travel without sufficient clothing? How many outfits and different pairs of shoes does your wife take along for a weekend bar mitzvah? Let’s not even get started on packing for Pesach away at any of the myriad kosher hotels all over the world. Can you imagine what and how much was packed for a 40-year trek through the midbar on the way to the Promised Land?!
Ober says the Ramban (Nachmanides), farkert: the fact that the Yiddin’s clothing did not get sullied, but did stretch along with them as their children grew, and that their feet did not swell up as they walked, was indeed miraculous. And let’s not forget that it wasn’t until 1959 that DuPont scientist (Joseph C. Shivers) invented Spandex (taka a miracle for a number of the more zaftig girls and their mothers). In other words: self-cleaning and stretchable clothing was indeed a miracle from the RBSO, one that He hid from Mr. Shivers over at DuPont until 1959, and from other Toirah inspired entrepreneurs, who typically find ways to exploit all the RBSO’s miracles.
The miracle was so great that Moishe will again remind the Yiddin (Devorim 29:4), a few days before his passing, about the miracles of stretchable clothing and shoes which did not wear out for 40 years. We will be revisiting this topic later this summer as we review parshas Ki Sovoy, stay tuned.
A gittin Shabbis-
The Heylige Oisvorfer Ruv
Yitz Grossman
