MICHILA (FORGIVENESS IN 13 EASY STEPS)
Let’s begin here. Says the heylige Toirah (Vayikro 16:30), azoy: “For on this day [Yom Kippur] He shall effect atonement for you to cleanse you. Before G‑d, you shall be cleansed from all your sins.” Is that it? What could be better?
Not so fast buddy because avada you recall learning, or already know, that on Yom Kippur, the RBSO mercifully forgives and even erases all the sins we have committed “before G‑d”—but not the sins we may have committed against our fellow man. Yikes, and let’s get real: the RBSO knows just who you are and why you behave as you do. After all, that’s how He made us. We are less than perfect and He is seemingly Ok with us as long as we try and also apologize at least once a year by fasting and klapping “al chets” (beating our chests) several hundred times. During davening, and in raised voices, we repeat over and again the RBSO’s 13 Attributes of Mercy. Of course, there are other symbolic minhogim (customs) instituted over the years including increasing charity giving and waiving chicken over our heads. Shoin, we have -over the past ten years delved into each of these, and for those interested, click here www.oisvorfer.com and search Yom Kippur for more on these topics.
Ober, our rebbes also taught us that sins between man and man (too, include sins between a rebbe and his talmidim, if they chapped, man and woman, especially not your own), require personal apologies and requests for forgiveness.
Back in yeshiva the heylige Ois was taught that one should go as far as circling the house of one he has offended in the hopes that the offended will make an appearance so that one can then engage in personal michilah?
Ober is this practical given the number of people you offended? Nu, thank the RBSO and avada Al Gore for inventing the internet and others who gave us text, WhatsApp, Fact time and other means of instant communication and today especially during corona times, when according to some it’s mamish dangerous to extend a hand in asking for forgiveness, we have the ability to do so by email. And to simplify the procedure and without much emotion or even sincerity – nebech, you too may ask and also get forgives and thereby by improving your chances with the RBSO for your giferliche behavior this past year.
And the good news? Just as the offending individual is enjoined to sincerely seek forgiveness, so, too, the victim is expected to wholeheartedly forgive—provided he/she is assured that the plea for forgiveness is indeed or somewhat sincere. To gain proper michila in 5781 for sins committed in 5780 and before, and in 13 easy steps, follow these very simple instructions.
PRE YOM KIPPUR MICHILA (FORGIVENESS FORM):
WHO SHOULD USE THIS FORM?
- MAY ALSO BE USED BY THOSE WHO LISTENED TO THE ABOVE MAMISH ENJOYED HEARING THE GOSSIP.
II: CAN ALSO BE USED TO SAY I’M SORRY TO ANYONE ELSE YOU PISSED OFF DURING THE PAST YEAR OR EVEN YEARS, INTENTIONALLY OR NOT.
III: THIS FORM MAY –AT YOUR OWN RISK- ALSO BE USED IN LIEU OF FLOWERS AND OR JEWELRY BETWEEN HUSBANDS AND WIVES, PREFERABLY YOUR OWN!
COMPLETE ALL FIELDS
1- Sinner’s Name (you!) ____________________________
2- Sinner’s Cell # (yours)___________________________
3- Sinner’s email address (List all email addresses used during the past 12 months to bad-mouth a friend, relative, business partner, your rabbi, and including those you barely know__________________________________________
(List person(s) you aggrieved and from whom you seek forgiveness). Use a new form for each recipient. Use extra sheets if necessary.
5- LIST YOUR SPECIFIC SIN AGAINST THE PERSON
What I specifically said or wrote about you. Attach copies of any and all emails, text messages, and anything that you wrote, exchanged and or forwarded about another friend, relative and others, here___________________
5a- YOU ARE ON A ROLL; LET’S COMPLETE THE FORM AND COME CLEAN
Name of offended goes here: ________________, I also want you to know that I Googled you mercilessly and then took great delight in forwarding any and all schmutz to all on my email list.
6- CIRCLE THE APPROPRIATE BOX:
How many times I bad mouthed you in the past year:
whenever the opportunity presented_____________ whenever your name came up in regular conversation____________.
7- I am sorry!
ADDITIONAL NOTE TO THOSE OFFENDED:
8- Get over it! In 5780 alone, you would’ve, or did the same to me and mistama many others. we are even!
9- We are in this together.
10- I am indeed guilty as charged for being the conduit for others reading, receiving and then further forwarding the schmutz I dug up on you, and though I mamish had fun at your expense, though I mamish did bad, I beseech you and ask that you offer me mochila (forgiveness) in order that the RBSO will go easy on me.
11- Why should you consider my request and offer complete forgiveness? Because it’s likely the case that you did the same: you too are guilty as sin of disseminating loshoin horo. Don’t be walking around like a victim! If you don’t forgive me, you are nothing but a hypocrite and the RBSO should punish you severely. Moreover, I will tell everyone on my email list that you are bad!
12- I am willing to forgive you if you forgive me. Shoin!
13- Thank you
Wishing you all a Gemar Tov and an easy fast-
The Heylige Oisvorfer Ruv