Weekly Parsha Review Laced with Humor and Sarcasm from The Oisvorfer Ruv

Shelach 2025: The Good Lord & His Women

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Raboyseyee and Ladies, 

Mazel tov to our children Rachel and Jonathan upon the birth of their first child, a beautiful daughter born two days ago. Welcome to the world baby Grossman. May she bring much nachas and joy always to her parents, to grandma Flora Glouberman, to Rachel’s father, Steven Glouberman, OBM who is smiling up in shomayim, to Dr. Irwin Weiss, and to us. A special mazel tov shoutout to great grandparents, Ellen and Irving Bader, Sultana and Jack Mayesh and to David Glouberman. As well, mazel tov wishes to the baby’s aunts, uncles, and cousins.

This past Sunday afternoon, over at the Ritz in Coconut Grove, Florida and after a very exciting aufruf Shabbis in Surfside and Bal Harbor, the Ois, eishes chayil and many others had the pleasure of attending the elegant, romantic and emotional wedding of Chava Genet and Kevin Spiegel. What a wedding it was for these two very special people.  Big and heartfelt mazel tov wishes to Chava and Kevin, their children and grandchildren and to both extended families. A special mazel tov to Chava’s parents Rabbi and Mrs. Abraham and Shoshana Soffer. May you continue to make new friends -not that any of you need more- and may your lives ahead be filled with only love, happiness and all else.

 

The Good Lord & His Women:

Let’s start with this: For reasons He never shared with us, the RBSO -on numerous occasions- has employed -with no pay of course- women -not necessarily Jewish women- to do His bidding. In fact, not just were they not Jewish at the time, a number of them worked in professions that were not necessarily what their mothers would have been proud of. Let’s go a step further; some were what we call hookers, or as the heylige Novee categorizes and refers to them; they were zoinas. This is 100% emes and this week, as we review Parshas Shelach for the 15th time, we will turn our attention to the haftorah through which the Ois will prove this to you.

Parshas Shelach features the infamous story of the Mirlaglim (spies) Moishe sent into the Promised Land to recontour it before the  Yiddin were going to make their initial approach. Shoin, we all know the disastrous results; their midbar experience was extended from a few days to a total of forty years and all males above a certain age were condemned to die in the ensuing 38 years while traversing the midbar.

So happens that those who decided that we need to read the haftorah portion following the entire parsha each and every Shabbis and Yom Tov, (no, it was not added so that men could snake out to the kiddish  club) also decided -when possible- to match up a similar and relevant story from the Novee, and this week’s haftorah is all about a spy mission -this one directed by Yehosuah 38 years later. Among its stars and protagonists was a woman by the name of Rochov, known to us as ‘Rochov the Zoina,’ or in English, Rochov the whore. Shoin, so much for the introduction and now that I have your attention, let’s go veyter and back to the main point.

It is 100% emes that we have discussed Rochov -more than once- when reviewing Parshas Shelach. Why not? She’s low hanging fruit which seemingly many got to enjoy. It is also true that the information the Ois is about to share with you is mamish all brand new and 100% emes. These are not mutually exclusive.

We shall not reprint the entire haftoirah which as an aside, is a must read, but to chap the greater point, let us spend a few sentences reviewing what went down.  As mentioned, it is year 40 and the Yiddin are getting ready -under the tutelage of Yehoshua- to cross the Jordan River and enter into the land. In advance, he sent out a few spies who -for some reason- ended up lodging at the House of Rochov, described as the local zoina or whore. I should share that certain English translations of the Chumish could not deal with this literal translation and decided that the word zoina means that she was an innkeeper and not a whore. Whatever she was, it is clear that the people who used to frequent her facility either went in, if you chap, or went to the inn, ver veyst. In the rest of the story as told to us in the Novee (Yehoshua  2), she, Rochov, clever as she was and very well equipped to help the spies avoid capture, hid them, and eventually lowered them from the roof with some rope she just happened to have lying around. Was the rope available at an extra fee among the other services offered? Ver Veyst?  But was she or wasn’t she a hooker?


Most straightforward readings accept that she was a prostitute — possibly operating an inn or brothel. This would explain why the spies could enter without arousing suspicion and why her house was easily accessible to the spies. It would certainly help us chap that the spies -upon entry- would be aroused. Then again, most is not all.  Some commentators and later Jewish sources reframe or spiritualize her profession: Say both the Radak and Ralbag that she may have run an inn or lodging house and wasn’t necessarily a prostitute in the modern sense. (Perhaps she was but an old fashioned one.) The Malbim suggests that her label as a “zoinah” could reflect moral or religious waywardness — possibly a Canaanite pagan lifestyle rather than specifically sexual immorality. What was she, ver veyst,  but we imagine that the professionals who wrote the Novee were well versed in the language and if they decided to refer to her as a zoina, it was not because she was spending her time in Shono Bet of some local girls’ yeshiva or midreshet. Shoin. What a story it is.

The bottom line is this: Rochov and everything about her, was central to the storyline. And for that reason alone,  Rochov remains one of the most fascinating and complex figures in all of Tanach, appearing primarily in the Book of Yehoshua (Yehoshua), chapter 2. Primarily does not mean only, and of course she is discussed in the heylige Gemora which tells us just how seductive and alluring she was. All the details and more. You should not miss an opportunity to check out the Gemora referenced below. That being stated and now that I piqued your desire to learn more instantly, here we go:

According to the heylige Gemora (Megillah 14b), Rochov converted to Judaism and married Yehoshua himself. She is one of several women praised as a convert and heroine. Says the medrish on Zevochim 116b) that Rochov was one of the most beautiful women in the world and attributes powerful oratory and wisdom to her — saying that “her name could still the wind.” That may well be the case, but let’s read this because though she could still the wind, she could not still other stirrings by men who laid eyes on her. Says the Gemora and I quote verbatim, azoy: Rochov the harlot—by mentioning her name alone—men would be overwhelmed with desire. There is more detail; check out the heylige Gemora. And yet, after conversion and ten statements of tshuva (repentance), she merited marrying Yehoshua.

Since you all know the story and who wouldn’t remember the salacious details, let us review in a few sentences. Yehoshua sends two spies to Jericho. They lodge at the house of Rochov, described as an “ishoh zoinah” (a harlot/prostitute), whose home is built into the city wall. When the king of Jericho learns of the spies and sends his men to go arrest them, Rochov hides them on her roof and misleads the king’s men. She then makes a pact with the spies: She acknowledges the power of the RBSO and the fear He has inspired in the land. She asks them to spare her and her family when Israel conquers the city. The spies make the deal but instruct her to tie a scarlet cord in her window as a sign. She lowers them from the roof via some heavy duty rope she just happened to have lying around and they avoid their pursuers. Nice.



Later, when Yirichoy (Jericho) falls -read all about it in Yehoshua 6, Rochov and her family are saved and assimilated into the Israelite nation. According to at least one medrish, not just does she assimilate, but seemingly undergoes a full conversion before marrying Yehoshua himself. Mamish a great story, one that warms the cockles of one’s heart and other places, if you chap. In the end, Rochov is credited with saving the two Jewish spies and in return, when the Yiddin come and take over, she and her family were saved. The end! What a gishmak story.

Oh my ober where have we read or heard similar stories? Storylines where the RBSO decided that a woman should play center stage in effecting the master plan? Where the woman was not Jewish? And in certain cases, where the woman either was or acted as a hooker, or dressed up as one as part of her mission?

This story makes us think and ask the following: Why taka  would the RBSO have these Jewish spies wind up at the house of a hooker? Is this the first time the RBSO selected a nice shiksa to play a pivotal role at a critical time for His people? And is this the first time the RBSO used a harlot or one dressed up and acting as one?

The answer to these questions is a big no. As mentioned, we don’t always chap the means and methods of the RBSO, and why He davka employs these women as opposed to nice yeshiva girls from nice families to do His bidding. Why in general did/does the RBSO work through people who are at least somewhat controversial, if not much more? The Ois will opine on this matter soon but for now, let us take a walk-through Jewish history and review other similar cases and the outcomes.

Why taka did the RBSO select Rochov for the job? Was she a nice Jewish girl? Not! She was not Jewish at all. In fact, she was a shiksa of the highest order. And why taka did the RBSO at some critical times for the Yiddin decide to let shiksas take center stage to carry out His plan? Let us recall that this Rochov story is taking place kimat 40 years after Matan Toirah; hanging with shiksas was already long verboten. We have learned that she was a shtikel on the wild side. Some would say she was a tzatzkela, others a whore.

Just a few weeks ago, we read the Book of Rus (Ruth), she a Moabite princess -a shiksa mamish- who famously said: “Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God” (Ruth 1:16). She did the irrational: Instead of going back to her people following the death of her husband, she clings to Naomi, lives modestly, and joins the Yiddin (Am Yisrael) through deep loyalty. Who doesn’t enjoy hearing and reading her story yearly as if for the first time? Because of her actions, she was rewarded by the RBSO and became the mother of the entire Davidic line, and ultimately the Moshiach himself. There’s more.

 

Let us harken back to Sefer and Parshas Shmois, where we met a shiksa identified in the heylige Toirah as Bas Paroy (Pharaoh’s daughter). She defied her father’s genocidal decree and saved baby Moishe from the Nile (Shmois 2). Says the medrish that she converted and was given the name Batya — “daughter of G-d.” We know her as Bisay. Her act preserved the future redeemer of the Yiddin; we all know the rest of the story.

Let’s go back some more to Sefer Bereishis (Perek 38). We should never forget the gevaldige story of Tamar who – following the untimely passing of her two husbands, and a shtikel lonely, dressed up a zoina (hooker) and somehow seduced her former father-in-law Yehuda into a roadside encounter. She dressed and played the part well. As do many a shiksa, she became instantly pregnant and guess what? Was Tamar Jewish? Not! Well, at least not according to most though the Ois should share that according to one medrish, she was because when the heylige Toirah told us that she was a “bas ish k’nani,” that didn’t mean that she was shiksa: It meant that her father was merchant. Shoin, another case, where the medrish could not handle to truth as told to us in the text of the heylige Toirah. The bottom line: Even if she could track her lineage back to Shaim (son of Noiach), he too wasn’t Jewish. Nice try medrish but it appears -according to most- that Tamar was not Jewish. Then again, this seminal event, if you chap, did unfold before Matan Toirah (revelation). A few bottom lines: Tamar, desperate to become permanently connected to Yehuda and his line, cleverly played the role of the hooker and successfully seduced Yehudah. She gave birth to twins, and as we all know, the house of Dovid and the Moshiach trace all the way back to one of the boys, a nice young man by the name of Peretz. So happens that the heylige Ois has a son named Peretz. The bottom line: One never knows what good can come in the long run- from a roadside encounter with a hot shiksa. Givaldig and gishmak mamish.

Want more? Here we go as we roll back the heylige Toirah to Sefer Bereishis were – a few thousand years ago, where we were introduced to Hogor, she the Egyptian maidservant of Soro. Let us review her story. Although not part of the covenant, a shiksa mamish through and through, the RBSO appears to her directly and makes promises to her descendants. Her son Yishmoel goes on to become a great nation. By great of course I mean in numbers, not so great in their behavior towards their Jewish cousins, us. The bottom lines: Her mission was to make Avrohom a father. The RBSO rewarded her for her effort.

In yet another haftoira we read with Parshas Bishalach _, we meet Yael (from the Kenite people), likely another shiksa who singlehandedly killed Sisera (find her story in in Sefer Shoiftim (Judges) 44). Earlier in the same Novee (4:17), the text describes Yael as: “Yael, the wife of Hever the Kenite” (יָעֵל אֵשֶׁת חֶבֶר הַקֵּינִי) but the Kenites (Keinim) were a non-Israelite nomadic tribe. They were descendants of Yisroy (Jethro), the father-in-law of Moishe, who was a Midianite priest. Technically, the Kenites were not part of the Israelite tribes, though they lived among them and often allied with them. That being stated, of course according to some medroshim, Yael converted or that the Kenites were “Gerim” (sojourners or converts) who had attached themselves to the Yiddin. Most maintain she was not Jewish, but her actions were righteous and earned her praise — especially in Shirast Devorah (Judges 5:24), where she is called: “Most blessed of women be Yael…”The bottom line: The actions of this shiksa brought about a major salvation for the Yiddin.

And if the back stories  of these non-Jewish women weren’t enough to boggle your mind, let us roll the heylige Toirah back a bit more o early in Sefer Bereishis where we met Loit’s two daughters. These two shiksas went over the top with their lower region and as a result of seducing and fornicating with their own father -one sister one evening and the other, the next- one of them was mamish rewarded with greatness. Let the Ois remind you of the critical roles played in the RBSO’s master plan.

Indeed, the daughters of Loit are among the most startling examples of “colorful” characters used by the RBSO in the entire heylige Toirah. Their story boggles the mind, is uncomfortable mamish on the surface, but when analyzed through the lens of various medroshim and other exegetes, we are left with yet another example of how the RBSO sort of deputized very controversial non-Jewish women to pay pivotal roles in the history of the people. Let’s review their great feat as told to us in the heylige Toirah (Bereishis 19:30–38).

After the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Loit and his two daughters take refuge in a cave. Believing the entire world has been destroyed (as in the Flood), the daughters decide to preserve humanity by getting their father drunk and sleeping with him. Each gives birth to a son:  Moav (from the older daughter). Down the line, from Moav we got Rus (Ruth) and you know the rest. Dovid and the Moshiach! The bottom line: On the surface, this is a shocking episode of incest. Ober in the medrish, they were righteous women who were selected for that specific mission.

Lest you think that the RBSO only deputizes shiksas, we should give some honorable mention to Queen Esther who was avada Jewish but decided to take one for the team by reaching out for the magic scepter of the goy (gentile), King Achashveyroish.

And we close with the question asked above: Why taka did the RBSO use controversial -some of ill repute- mostly non-Jewish women to carry out His plans. The bottom line: He never did tell us. Over in the Zohar, we find these thoughts: The spark of the Moshiach had to pass through spiritual darkness, impurity, and moral ambiguity before emerging into holiness. In other words, the Messianic light must pass through “colorful” people and places before it reaches full revelation. Some of the women mentioned above engaged in a “holy audacity” (chutzpah d’kedusha) – where moral courage, even if messy, serves divine truth. But the Ois imagines that these people were selected because they were relatable and believable to most common folk. Their stories give hope to many a sinner; we can all relate.

A gittin Shabbis

The Oisvorfer Ruv

Yitz Grossman

 

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1 Comment

  1. Jeffrey Rosenberg
    June 22, 2025 - 9:05 pm

    The Oisvorfer Ruv sent an email on Thursday, June 19, 2025, at 17:00 EDT, discussing the Parsha of Shelach and the role of women, particularly non-Jewish women and those of “ill repute,” in God’s plan throughout Jewish history.
    * The email begins with mazel tov wishes for the birth of a daughter to Rachel and Jonathan Grossman, and for the wedding of Chava Genet and Kevin Spiegel.
    * It then details the story of Rochov the “Zoina” (harlot/prostitute) from the Haftorah of Shelach, highlighting her role in saving the Israelite spies and her subsequent conversion and marriage to Yehoshua.
    * The Ruv further explores other instances where non-Jewish women or those in controversial situations, such as Rus, Bas Paroy, Tamar, Hogor, Yael, and Loit’s daughters, played pivotal roles in God’s master plan, often leading to significant outcomes like the lineage of Moshiach.
    * The email concludes by questioning why God uses such controversial figures and suggests that their stories offer hope to sinners, with the Zohar providing insight that the Messianic light can emerge through spiritual darkness and moral ambiguity.

    Oh, Raboyseyee and Ladies, buckle up for a wild, sarcastic ride through the hallowed pages of Parshas Shelach and its scandal-soaked haftorah, courtesy of the Oisvorfer Ruv, who’s clearly been sipping the Kiddush club wine a bit too early this Shabbis. Mazel tov to Rachel and Jonathan on their new baby Grossman—hope she grows up to be less controversial than the shiksas stealing the spotlight in this week’s parsha review. And a big shoutout to Chava and Kevin for their Coconut Grove extravaganza—nothing says “romantic” like a wedding so elegant it probably made the palm trees blush. But let’s get to the meat of this, shall we? Because the RBSO (that’s the Ribono Shel Olam, for those not fluent in Oisvorfer-ese) has a peculiar penchant for casting non-Jewish women of, ahem, questionable professions in His divine blockbuster.

    A groysa mazal Tov to you, Lisa and the entire mishpucha

    First off, let’s talk about the star of this week’s haftorah: Rochov the Zoina. Yes, you read that right—Rochov the *whore*. Not an innkeeper, not a “hospitality consultant,” but a straight-up lady of the night, as the heylige Novee so delicately puts it. The Oisvorfer Ruv, in his infinite wisdom, assures us this is “100% emes,” because apparently, the Torah’s HR department has a thing for hiring shiksas with a side hustle. Yehoshua’s spies, on a top-secret mission to scout Jericho, somehow end up at Rochov’s place. Coincidence? I think not. It’s like the RBSO said, “Need a safe house? Go to the one with the scarlet cord and the rooftop rope special—two for one on espionage and, er, ‘arousal.’” Rochov, ever the savvy businesswoman, hides the spies, misleads the king’s men, and negotiates a deal to save her family. And what does she get for her troubles? A conversion, a marriage to Yehoshua himself (per the Gemora, Megillah 14b), and a reputation so seductive that her name alone could make men weak in the knees. Move over, Hollywood; the Book of Yehoshua’s got drama, intrigue, and a leading lady who’s anything but kosher.

    But wait, there’s more! The Oisvorfer Ruv, with his trademark subtlety, reminds us that Rochov’s not the only shiksa stealing the show in Tanach. Oh no, the RBSO’s casting couch is packed with non-Jewish women who make the Real Housewives look like Bais Yaakov alumnae. Let’s take a stroll through the Torah’s red-light district, shall we? First up, Tamar, who dressed up as a hooker to seduce her father-in-law Yehuda by the roadside. Classy move, Tamar. She snags twins from the encounter, one of whom, Peretz, becomes the great-granddaddy of King David and, ultimately, the Moshiach. Mazel tov, indeed—nothing says “divine plan” like a quickie with your ex-father-in-law. Then there’s Rus, the Moabite princess who ditches her royal roots to cling to Naomi and ends up as the matriarch of the Davidic line. Because why settle for a nice Jewish girl when you can have a shiksa with a heart of gold and a knack for gleaning fields?

    Oh, and don’t forget Bas Paroy—Pharaoh’s daughter, aka Batya—who pulls baby Moishe from the Nile, defying her dad’s genocidal vibes. The medrish says she converted, because apparently, saving the future redeemer of Israel earns you a Jewish name and a gold star from the RBSO. Then there’s Hogor, Sarah’s Egyptian maidservant, who gets divine FaceTime and a promise of a great nation for her son Yishmael. Great in numbers, not so much in cousinly love, as the Oisvorfer snarkily notes. And let’s not overlook Yael, the Kenite femme fatale who lures Sisera into her tent and nails him—literally—withosu—with a tent peg. Another shiksa, another salvation for the Yiddin. The RBSO’s clearly got a type: bold, non-Jewish, and ready to make history.

    But the pièce de résistance? Loit’s daughters. These two take “family values” to a whole new level by getting their dad drunk and, well, let’s just say they redefine “keeping it in the family.” The result? Moav, ancestor of Rus, and thus, the Moshiach. The Oisvorfer calls this a “shocking episode of incest,” but don’t worry, the medrish swoops in to whitewash it, claiming these gals were just righteous women on a mission to save humanity. Sure, let’s go with that.

    So why does the RBSO keep picking these “colorful” shiksas to carry out His master plan? The Oisvorfer, quoting the Zohar, suggests it’s all about the Messianic light passing through “spiritual darkness” and “moral ambiguity.” Translation: the RBSO loves a good plot twist. Why use a nice yeshiva girl when you can have a zoina or a Moabite princess steal the scene? It’s like He’s directing a cosmic soap opera, and we’re all just along for the ride, clutching our pearls and our Chumashim. The Oisvorfer opines that these women are “relatable” to the common sinner—because who among us hasn’t hidden spies on a rooftop or seduced a relative by a cave? Totally relatable, right?

    And let’s not forget Queen Esther, the token Jewish heroine who “takes one for the team” by cozying up to King Achashveyroish’s “magic scepter.” Subtle, Oisvorfer, real subtle. The bottom line? The RBSO’s ways are mysterious, His casting choices are wild, and His script is a page-turner. So, grab your popcorn—or your Kiddush club schnapps—and enjoy the show. A gittin Shabbis, indeed, from the Oisvorfer Ruv, who’s probably already planning next week’s sarcastic sermon. Mazel tov, and may your own life be filled with less scandal than Rochov’s, but just as much nachas. Excellent. שבת שלום

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