Weekly Parsha Review Laced with Humor and Sarcasm from The Oisvorfer Ruv

Emor 2020: Monstrous Murder Hornets In The Years 2448 and 5780

Raboyseyee and Ladies:

Monstrous Murder Hornets In The Years 2448 and 5780:

Shoin, just when we thought the worst is over, or about to be, with this farkakte killer corona virus, and that we can enjoy the outdoors with little to worry about, the entire world is buzzing with a new threat. And just when we thought 2020 could not get any worse, we have giant hornets with freakish eyes and a venomous sting to add to this year’s long list of worries. What is the RBSO up to? Ver veyst!

In recent weeks, with shuls closed, the Oisvorfer has -for the first time in close to eleven  years-  not been reviewing the parsha or parshas of the week. With so many stay-at-home rabbis and their assistants, many are on the receiving end of emails and Whatsapps containing relevant parsha tidbits and uplifting messaging. Instead, the last few weeks have featured rants and or other timely topics.  This week we should be reading and reviewing parshas Emor which features restrictions on kohanim –whom they can marry, and to whom they may defile themselves while tending to, or attending funerals, but we won’t. By way of example only, a koihen may not marry a divorcee, or a woman with a promiscuous past. Shoin, theses restrictions have avada greatly limited their options, ober the good news is that for the right amount of money and with the right rabbi at your side, not every divorce is a real divorce. Bottom line: with the right connections, at times at least, real divorces have morphed into annulments and shoin. That topic for another day. As to the koihen godol (high priest), his options are more restrictive as he can marry only a virgin; good luck with that!  We have previously discussed rationales for these restrictions and avada you should immediately go to archives at www.oisvorfer.com where all this is further explained. The good news:  not every form of sexual activity renders one a non-virgin. Shoin! It also features the various Jewish festivals, the bringing and counting of the Omer, the lighting of the menorah and the lechem haponim (showbread). We won’t cover those either. Instead we will go back in time –some 3300 plus years in time, and prove once again how everything we experience in our lives today was already introduced by the RBSO in his heylige Toirah which we got as a marriage present atop Har Sinai.

This past Tuesday, while the markets were open for trading, the heylige Ois was tuned to CNBC. When the markets are open, CNBC typically features public and even private company executives discussing their businesses. Its hosts debate the economy in general, how geopolitical maneuverings affects markets in oil, gold and much more. In recent weeks, and as expected, it’s also featured much corona talk and its affect on industry sectors. As an aside, at night, you can also chap re-runs of Shark Tank. Ober to his great surprise, and mamish in trading primetime, an expert on killer hornets was given a seven minute slot to discuss the pending arrival of killer hornets from Asia. So happens that in recent days, these killer hornets have also been discussed on many other networks, to include Bloomberg News, ABC, CBS, NBC, ABC and others. As well, kimat every newspaper has written on the topic. On YouTube, you can find many of these clips and dozens others. The gantze velt (entire world) is abuzz with killer hornets. The bottom line: the media has found a new topic de jour; we are being warned that Southeast Asia has given us yet another gift, the killer hornets. Seemingly they are coming. Ober are killer hornets taka new? Did they really come from Japan? Should we efsher blame the Chinese from whence all that kills males its way here? Shoin, to track the history of hornets, let us go back to Toirah times. Who are they? Where are they coming from? What’s the big deal? And as always, we ask azoy? Where have we seen these killer hornets before? Shoin! The heylige Ois reminds you kimat weekly that nothing we experience in 2020 is new; neither are killer hornets. They happen to hearken back to the heylige Toirah? Do they? Mamish? Where? Were hornets featured when the RBSO punished the Mitzrim with ten plagues? They were not! The plagues did feature grasshoppers and even locusts, ober no mention is made of hornets during that time period. If not there, where can we find them?

Nu, before we answer those questions and others, and also how life imitates the heylige Toirah over and again, let’s take a quick look at what the experts are telling us about these bad boy killer hornets who seemingly enjoy feasting on honey bees, but also kill people. What do we know about them? Are they taka ruthless?

What we are being told this week: Monstrous ‘murder hornets’ have reached the United States, or will be arriving shortly. Native to Asia, the giant insects rip off the heads of honeybees by the thousands. Massive, deadly hornets affectionately known as “murder hornets” “hornets from hell” and “yak-killer hornets,” have been spotted in the U.S. for the first time. Oy vey! Says the very antisimtishe (anti-Semitic) New York Times azoy: “The hornets, which were detected in Washington State, prey on bees…” At more than two inches long, they’re the world’s largest hornets with a sting that can kill humans if stung multiple times, according to experts at the Washington State University. The giant insects are nicknamed “murder hornets.” “They’re like something out of a monster cartoon with this huge yellow-orange face,” Susan Cobey, a bee breeder at the Washington State University’s department of entomology, said recently. How did they come to the US? Scientists don’t know how these giant hornets native to Asia ended up in Washington State. They can sometimes be transported in international cargo, according to Seth Truscott with WSU’s college of agricultural, human and natural resource sciences. Sightings of the Asian giant hornet have prompted fears that the vicious insect could establish itself in the United States and devastate bee populations. The giant hornet was first spotted in the state in December, and scientists believe it started becoming active again last month, when queens emerge from hibernation to build nests and form colonies. How did they come to the US? Scientists don’t know how these giant hornets native to Asia ended up in Washington State. They can sometimes be transported in international cargo, according to Seth Truscott with WSU’s college of agricultural, human and natural resource sciences. Hornets are most destructive in the late summer and early fall, when they are on the hunt for sources of protein to raise next year’s queens. They attack honey bee hives, killing adult bees and devouring bee larvae and pupae, while aggressively defending the occupied colony. Their stings are big and painful, with a potent neurotoxin. Multiple stings can kill humans, even if they are not allergic.”

In the year 2020 killer hornets are back and scientists have since embarked on a full-scale hunt for the hornets, worried that the invaders could decimate bee populations in the United States and establish such a deep presence that all hope for eradication could be lost. “This is our window to keep it from establishing,” said Chris Looney, an entomologist at the Washington State Department of Agriculture. “If we can’t do it in the next couple of years, it probably can’t be done.” In the coming months, Mr. Looney said, he and others plan to place hundreds more traps. State officials have mapped out the plan in a grid, starting in Blaine and moving outward. If a hornet does get caught in a trap, Dr. Looney said, there are plans to possibly use radio-frequency identification tags to monitor where it goes — or simply attach a small streamer and then follow the hornet as it returns to its nest. And while most bees would be unable to fly with a disruptive marker attached, that is not the case with the Asian giant hornet. It is big enough to handle the extra load. You hear this Raboyseyee? The plan is chap the hornets, tag them using radio frequency identification and then follow them back to their nests. All this in 2020. Ober back in the year 2248, the RBSO introduced us to killer hornets and lets us read how they were not only employed but also armed with sophisticated payloads.  Ober to chap all this, let us go back a few parshas to Sefer Shmois and then skip ahead to Sefer Devorim.

It’s the year 2448 and the Yiddin have just left Mitzrayim (Egypt). The Yiddin are in the desert, Moishe is teaching them the laws of the not yet minted heylige Toirah. He repeats the RBSO’s message: the RBSO reassures His Chosen People that He will indeed deliver them into the Promised Land which at the time was inhabited by seven other nations. Who was there at the time? The Amorites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Girgashitesthe Canaanites, the Hivvites, and the Jebusites. The RBSO says azoy in Shemois 23:28:

28.  And I will send the tzir’ah before you, and it will drive out the Hivvites, the Canaanites, and the Hittites from before you.
  כחוְשָׁלַֽחְתִּ֥י אֶת־הַצִּרְעָ֖ה לְפָנֶ֑יךָ וְגֵֽרְשָׁ֗ה אֶת־הַֽחִוִּ֧י אֶת־הַכְּנַֽעֲנִ֛י וְאֶת־הַֽחִתִּ֖י מִלְּפָנֶֽיךָ:


Shoin, the Yiddin had a plan for three of the seven nations they were to drive out and the plan involved hornets!

The RBSO was promising to send hornet swarms and they were going to clear out the enemy inhabitants? How was this going to work? Interestingly we have until this point, never been introduced to the hornet. Avada we all chap that the RBSO was zicher creative whenever He decided to either eliminate a few or even a lot of people. When He decided to wipe out all humanity (but Noiach and his family), He featured the Mabul (flood), and when upset with the poor behavior of the Sodomites, He showcased fire and brimstone. Over in Mitzrayim, frustrated with Paroy’s intransigence, He had Moishe visit nine different plagues before making a personal appearance and killing out the firstborn of every Mitzri family. Avada we all chap that the RBSO has many weapons in his armamentarium. How were these hornets mentioned above going to drive away three of the nations that were at the time living in the land that the RBSO promised the Yiddin?

Shoin, let’s start with Rashi because of course Rashi either knew or figured everything out. Says he azoy: the ‘Tzirah’ (the Hebrew term for the hornet as found in the heylige Toirah) is a flying insect. Ober how was a flying insect to drive out the enemy so that the Yiddin could inhabit the Promised Land? Rashi expounds: The hornets smote them in their eyes and injected venom into them thereby causing their death. Shoin: avada we all remain terrified of hornets and kimat every house has various sprays to repel these swarming insects. Rashi continues with this: the Tzirah (hornets) did not cross the Jordan. Let’s remember those words because they were the cause of much controversy among many who were trying to chap just how the hornets were effective in driving out the enemy, most of whom were mamish on the other side of the Jordan River. Shoin, we will get to that in mamish a minute. Halt kup (pay attention) and soon you too will chap why it’s important to learn the heylige Gemora and other sources. Its codifiers were geniuses’ mamish, and always came up with creative ideas to satisfy all truth seekers.

Let’s now see what the heylige Gemora (Soita 36a) has to tell us about the magic hornets the RBSO employed as His killing agents to clean out the enemy. “The hornets consumed and banished the enemy by completely blinding and castrating the enemy nations.” You hear this? Blinding and castrating? Oy vey! Wait, there’s more. The Gemora will elaborate on how the hornets did their work. Lommer lernin (let’s learn it). “A Tannah taught: The hornets did not pass over (Jordan) with them” (meaning the Yiddin); seemingly they were practicing social distancing. The other side of the Jordan was efsher on the no-fly list. They didn’t? Ober isn’t it written, and didn’t we quote above that “….and I will send the hornet before thee?”  Don’t these words mean that first the hornets swarmed in to do their job and only thereafter, did the Yiddin follow? We did!  Shoin, not to worry because said Reb Shimon ben Lokish azoy: “it (the hornets) stood by the bank of the Jordan and injected a virus (into the enemy) which blinded their eyes above, and castrated them below.” You hear this raboyseyee?  These magic hornets carried special venom which seemingly caused blindness and also somehow castrated the enemy. How did this work? Ver veyst? It’s one thing to lose one’s eyesight ober blind and castrated sounds very serious, life threatening mamish. Why would the RBSO use hornets as His preferred weapon of mass destruction? What did these hornets do? Did they carry payloads? And why didn’t the rebbe ever discuss these hornets? Shoin because as we mentioned above, most of you never make it past the first few aliyas of the parsha before discussing the latest gossip in town, out of town, and any other matter but the heylige Toirah. It’s no wonder that you never made your way to the last aliya. Nu, lucky for you, the Oisvorfer decided to once again share with you how news in 2020 or the year 5780, mamish harkens back 3332 year where killer hornets are found not once but twice in the heylige Toirah.

Back for a moment to 2248. Says the Oznayim Latoirah azoy: “Attacking these two parts of the body was fitting punishment for the nations that had sinned sexually. Is that why the RBSO was having the three nations expelled from their land? Seemingly so and taka says the heylige Toirah (Vayikro 18:24) azoy: “It was as a result of all these (sexual sins) that the nations I am driving away because of you became defiled.” Seemingly it was their eyes and sexual organs that were tools which led them to infuriate the RBSO. And as the Oisvorfer has been telling you for over ten  years now, the RBSO abhors mamish the sin combination of avoido zoro + sexual impropriety. Grada, He hates avoido zoro even without sexual impropriety, ober, the combination is always deadly as we learn throughout the heylige Toirah. Vyst zich ois (apparently), these nations were guilty of both and the RBSO decided to teach them a lesson. First they had to suffer blindness and castration. Only then were they either chased out or died.

Wait a minute: we now chap that the RBSO used hornets and why, ober, we still need to chap how they worked from the other side of the Jordan and how their venom made its way into their eyes and testicles of the enemy on the other side? And before we answer this question, so curious was the Oisvorfer about these hornets, that he went looking to see where else in the heylige Toirah we may find mention of them. shoin, in a few months –efsher maybe while in shul- we will be reading these words from Devorim 7:20 which state azoy: “and in addition, Hashem your God will send the hornet against them, until all of those who remain, and are hidden from you, are destroyed.” This posik is spoken by Moishe as he assures the Yiddin of their success of occupying the land once they cross the Jordan. The Oisvorfer is not aware of any other times that the RBSO employed hornets to do His bidding. Seemingly they were like angels who had but one specific job and task: their mission was to find the enemy wherever he may have been hiding, strike them with that special hornet venom, blind them, and castrate them.

Ober does everyone agree that the word ‘tzirah’ means flying hornets? Of course not! Says the Ibn Ezra that the word tzirah refers to some form of physical illness that befell the enemy and suggests that the word tzirah is similar in form to the word tzora’as which of course is also the subject of great debate. A few other luminaries agree that tzirah was some form of physical ailment but not necessarily hornets. How disappointing. And says the Ralbag: the tzirah does not mean the hornet, rather it is a non literal term that instead refers to extraordinary means that the RBSO employed to wipe out the enemies.

Why a few had difficulties chapping that the RBSO’s powers are unlimited and if He chose hornets as His killing agents and empowered them with laser precision and GPS capabilities so that they could find the enemy -even if hidden- and then strike them in their eyes and testicles, ver veyst?  Is that so hard to imagine? We don’t find anyone arguing about the lice or frogs. What’s taka pshat here and why is it that there are contrary opinions as to whether or not the RBSO employed real hornets? Shoin, we need to dig a bit further to chap what may have been bothering them and also how the magic hornets were so effective.

And we still need to reconcile the words of the heylige Toirah which twice tells us that the Tzirah (hornets) will be sent by the RBSO to wipe out the enemy, with the words of Rashi who tells us that the hornets never crossed the Jordan. Says Rashi quoting the Gemora (Soitah): of course this is not an issue; the hornets gathered at the banks of the river, removed their payload in the form of poisonous venom, aimed and shot. Generations before societies began to dream of advanced weaponry, and missile guided systems that could hit their targets with exact precision and cause untold damage, the RBSO had all that figured out. He empowered swarming hornets to hit the enemy where it hurt them most. In their eyes and in their beytzim (testes). Shoin, with laser guided precision, their venom smote the enemies on the other side of the Jordan without having to fly there. By attacking their testicles, the enemy was unable avada to have children. And why was not having children critical to the RBSO’s plan of driving the enemy from the land?  Nu, to tie this all up so gishmak, we need to read the very next posik (verse) in the heylige Toirah (Shemois 23:29) which tells us azoy:  “I shall not drive them away from you in a single year lest the Land become desolate and the wildlife of the field multiply against you.”  The RBSO, as always, had a master plan.  He was going to allow the Yiddin to take over the Land at a pace which would allow them to comfortably inhabit the land.

Says Rabbi Sorotzkin azoy: The hornets somehow hit the enemies in their testicles rendering them sterile, unable to propagate. This was the fulfillment of the RBSO’s promise. “Little by little shall I drive them away from you, until you become fruitful” (Shemois 23:30).  Had the nations also been fruitful, banishing them would have been difficult. What did the RBSO do instead? Seemingly those that were spared and marked for death at a later time –dead men walking-  were instead blinded and more importantly also castrated. They were totally neutralized and the RBSO’s words, as always, came true. Little by little they were driven out.

Is there any good news? Yes! Only the females of the species have stingers, which can measure up to 0.2 inches (6 millimeters) long; the stingers can be used repeatedly; and they deliver a toxin that is “considerably venomous. Ring epes familiar? The bottom line: stay away from all females!

A gittin Shabbis-

The Heylige Oisvorfer Ruv

Yitz Grossman





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