Weekly Parsha Review Laced with Humor and Sarcasm from The Oisvorfer Ruv

Big Gedaliah Goomber

CHORUS

Ain’t gonna work on Saturday
Ain’t gonna work on Saturday
Double, double, triple pay
Won’t make me work on Saturday
Ain’t gonna work on Saturday
It’s shabbos kodesh

Repeat chorus after each stanza.

I’m big Gedalia Goomber
I’m not exactly small
But really not so very big
Just seventeen feet tall
I’m really rigged for working
For that I’m very fit
Six days a week I’m at it
And on the seventh day I quit

I once helped raise a building
And on the hundredth floor
I was carrying a load of bricks
An easy ton or more
And her, it’s late on Friday
I knew I’d have to stop
So I yelled, “Watch out below!”
And let the whole thing drop

At driving a locomotive
I thought I’d take a crack
I had the throttle wide open
Zooming down the track
And here it’s almost shabbos
The sun’s about to set
So I dove into a mud hole
And the train is running yet

I worked down in a coal mine
And lost myself alright
I couldn’t tell the days apart
Because there was no light
So I set myself to digging
Just as fast as you may please
And popped up in an hour
Where the people speak chinese

I had a job a dandy
On a construction crew
A great big mountain had us stuck
We couldn’t dig it through
And soon it will be shabbos
But not say I’m proud
I took that stubborn mountain
And kicked it on a cloud

I turned to deep-sea diving
And took an awful chance
On a sunken steamer’s deck
I got caught by my pants
And trapped beneath the ocean
I couldn’t set me free
But I went home for shabbos
And dragged the boat with me

I once was an explorer
To Africa I went
One shabbos hungry lions
Came roaring round my tent
My assistant held my rifel
“Go Goomber shoot these pests.”
But I called them in instead
To be my shabbos guest

Once to split an atom
With effort I had learned

Suddenly there was a blast
boy did I get burned
Everyone was so worried
So the doctors I did tell
That by keeping the shabbos holy
I will soon be fit and well

I worked at Cape Kennedy
And things were going right
A great big rocket ship was set
On a launching site
And here it’s getting dark
Shabbos was coming soon
So I pushed the starting button
And spent shabbos on the moon

I once was an astronaut
And flying through the stars
I came across a space ship
Whose pilots were from Mars
I said “Hello there Martians”
And stayed with them
Until I taught them to keep the shabbos
And they’re keeping shabbos still

I dress my best on shabbos
Three meals I feast me fine
I make a royal kiddush
On a barrel full of wine
And when I sing my zemiros
For a thousand miles they know
That I’m enjoying shabbos
For Hashem has told us so.