Raboyseyee and Ladies,
Masked and Unmasked:
Full Disclosure:
The heylige Ois and eishes chayil are still in Los Angeles where -one week ago Tuesday- we welcomed a new granddaughter born to our children Rachel and Jon. Welcome to the world Miriam Raizel (Madison Rose) Grossman named after two grandmothers, OBM, (my mom one of them). Mazel tov! As a result, parts of this week’s review are repeated but at least 65% is brand new information. Please enjoy.
According to informed sources, orthodox Jewish women began covering their hair with sheitels (wigs) in early modern Europe, particularly in the 16th to 18th centuries. However, the practice of married Jewish women covering their hair is much older and originates from Talmudic times, around the 3rd to 6th centuries CE, based on interpretations of halacha (Jewish law). Married Jewish women were expected to cover their hair, but typically did so with scarves, veils, or cloth head coverings —and zicher not wigs. The heylige Gemora (Kesubis 72a) states that hair covering is part of the modesty expectations for married women. The use of wigs was controversial. Some rabbis opposed sheitels because they appeared too natural and defeated the modesty purpose. Ober, also in the heylige Gemora it seems, it’s possible, that Mrs. Oin ben Peles -more on her soon- may have covered her hair with a sheytil? And how is this introduction at all related to our parsha? Let us find out below.
Last week the heylige Ois dedicated the entire parsha post to women who got shoutouts – at times very honorable mention- in the heylige Toirah, and in the Novee, though not each was not in a profession that was honorable. Others acted less than honorably to get what they wanted. We scrolled through the Toirah and the Novee to remember each of these impactful women. It’s one parsha later, and welcome to Parshas Koirach, where Moishe and Aharoin will experience a mutiny, and the Ois is back with yet more impactful women but this time the opposite is true. This week’s parsha features not one, but two women who seemingly play prominent roles, yet none is shouted out by name.
Shoin, you all know that when the heylige Toirah goes silent and does not give us what the industry today calls the B-Roll, the back story, they somehow come to life in the medrish or in the Gemora quoting the medrish. There we read that Koirach’s wife -supposedly- egged her husband on to either start, or join, a rebellion against Moishe, while Mrs. Oin ben Peles is given credit for talking her husband down and out for the rebellion. Koirach’s rebellion against Moishe and Aharoin is central to the story -hec, he even got a parsha named for himself- but his wife is never named—despite midrashic sources suggesting she played a significant role. She told him to rebel because “Look how Moishe is taking everything for himself…” she felt that Moishe had too much power and too much honor.
A similar fate befell the unnamed Mrs. Oin ben Peles. Though the heylige Toirah does not mention her by name, nor what she did, the medrish was bothered by Oin’s disappearance from the text. It’s bothered davka because Mr. Oin ben Peles appears mamish in the beginning of the parsha -the very first posik- and we never hear from him again. What could have happened to him? The wife! In the medrish, Oin ben Peles’s wife saves her husband by persuading him not to join the rebellion and even goes so far as to use cunning means and methods -uncovering her hair to scare off visitors- to protect him. Why would her exposed hair scare them off? That part of the story is being repeated from 2016 and here we go. In the medrish as quoted by the heylige Gemora, the story of Mrs. Oin’s tactics are quite amazing and clever. Grada, it’s quite unusual for a named individual, good or bad, to have but one appearance (Oin might be the only one), ober the fact is that we are left hanging about Oin. Where did he go and what happened to him?
As it turns out, many were bothered by the same question. And the heylige Gemora (Sanhedrin 109b-110A) recognized this lacuna in the text and did what it does best; it filled in the missing pieces of the back story. What a story it is, amazing mamish. Lommer lernin. Says the heylige Gemora azoy: Oin was married to Mrs. Oin ben Peles. Seemingly, Gemora forgot to give her a name. When she heard Oin’s plans to join the revolution against Moishe, she talked him down. How? She told him that he did not have a dog in the fight; either way he was a loser. Many men hear that at home.
Whether Koirach would prevail or not, He, Oin, would gain nothing. She didn’t want him involved. What to do? Seemingly she recalled what other fine Toirah women did when they needed to take control. She recalled the daughters of Loit and their success with spirits.
She plied him with wine and soon thereafter, he fell into bed in a drunken stupor. Ober, because she was already married to him, no sex followed; farshteytzich (understood). As an aside, this tradition continues ad hayoim hazeh, if you chap. In any event, with Oin fast asleep and knowing that Koirach or his cohorts were scheduled drop by to pick him up for the great confrontation, she placed herself near the opening of the tent. So far so good. What next? The Gemora continues: She uncovered her hair! OMG! And? When it was time to get Oin, those who came knocking, noticed that Mrs. Oin was exposed, her hair that is, and avada it was not tzniusdik (modest) to gaze upon a married woman’s uncovered hair. A revolt against Moishe and Aharoin was perfectly ok, but looking at a woman’s uncovered hair, giferlich and worse. Mixed dancing next? Shoin: they left without Oin. They went to their ultimate death and according to this Gemora, Oin was saved by a hair, or, in this case many, that belonged to his fast-thinking wife. And that’s taka how this Gemora was taught to the Ois and many others. Ober in other yeshivas, they taught the myseh azoy: With Oin safe and sound in bed, Mrs. Oin taka let her hair down, ober it wasn’t her real hair. She simply removed her sheytil (wig), thereby exposing her real hair, say it’s not so please. Veyst zich ois (apparently), Mrs. Oin was efsher the first person ever to don a sheytil to cover her ervadick (sensual) hair. Shoin.
Exactly why it took Toirah / Gemora inspired Yiddin so many generations to chap this myseh and then proclaim that every woman must cover her sexy hair with an even sexier sheytil, ver veyst? Ober es veyst zich ois (it appears), that all recorded dates for the first ever sheytil might be wrong. Ober the kasha remains: Whatever happened to Oin and why taka did he disappear after a lone Toirah shoutout? And the answer raboyseyee might be azoy.
Could it be that Oin’s sole role in the planned but failed mutiny was to give rabbis and speakers, for generation to come, a nice story about how a woman can save her husband from evil and danger? Was he specifically placed into a story which is read kimat every single year during the height of wedding season so that speakers might have something intelligent to say about the kallah and wish upon the new husband that his wife emulate the ways of Mrs. Oin who came to the rescue and saved her husband from certain doom? After all, none of this medrish is recorded or even hinted to in the heylige Toirah. Is this how the story possibly went down? Ver veyst? Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t. In the end, it is shayich: We just need to imagine -as does the medrish- that Oin was taka placed into the Koirach story so that those getting married in June would have a clever sheva brochis devar Toirah.
While Mrs. (no-name) Oin hatched a plan to save her husband by removing her wig and exposing her sexy hair, another hair-raising discussion was taking place over at the Koirach household. The heylige Gemora also records a conversation between Koirach and his (also) unnamed wife during which she goads him further into the conspiracy by suggesting that Moishe made Koirach shave all his hair because, among other things, Moishe was jealous of Koirach’s hair. Though Koirach answered that Moishe too shaved his hair, his plans did not change. He was resolute, the mutiny was to move forward as planned. Moishe had to go, and Mrs. Koirach was stoking his flames of jealousy. Many of you have heard this famous Gemora on Oin and his givaldige wife. Grada the story is also recorded in the medrish (Medrish Rabba 18:20 and can also be found in the Medrish Tanchuma).
Ober this year, and after more digging, the heylige Ois, for the very first time, came across a medrish (Toirah Sheleima) he had never seen or known. It continues where the heylige Gemora lets off and tells us azoy: As described in the heylige Toirah, Moishe asked the RBSO to perform a miracle. He asked for the earth to open its mouth (think large sinkhole) and to swallow up the protagonists. This would be proof positive that Moishe was the real deal, the RBSO’s true messenger and not making up his own rules. As an aside, this was the very first and maybe only time Moishe asked the RBSO to punish someone and in an unnatural manner. Shoin, the RBSO did just that. When the earth opened its mouth (such mouth having been created, according to some, during the six days of creation, but waiting in limbo for that very moment), Oin was still fast asleep in his bed. You will recall that he had been plied with wine. The bed he occupied began to rock. Let’s recall he was in it alone, if you chap. It began rolling forward towards the now open mouth of the earth. The others had already been swallowed up.
Ober Mrs. Oin, resolute as ever, chapped the bed and said azoy: “Oh Lord of the worlds, my husband made a solemn vow never again to partake in such dissentions. You who live and endure throughout eternity can punish him should he violate his vow.” The RBSO heard her plea -we can avada speculate that she put her sheytil back on while davening to the RBSO- and Oin, though never again mentioned anywhere in the heylige Toirah, was saved yet again by his eishes chayil of a wife. And taka, a posik (verse) oft-time quoted by rabbis and others, mostly when seeking to heap praise upon a woman, taken from Mishlei (Proverbs) states azoy: “Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish woman pulls it down.” The wise woman avada referring to Mrs. Oin, a potentially fictional character introduced efsher to teach us a valuable lesson about a good woman saving her family and household, while the latter half of the quote seemingly refers to Mrs. Koirach, perhaps also introduced to teach men about the damage and destruction that a shrew of a wife can cause. Whether or not Mrs. Koirach wore a sheytil or not, we don’t know. We do know that she was terribly upset with how her husband looked without his hair. Perhaps he should have considered one. Is medrish givaldig or what?
The bottom line: These two medroshim are old and mamish low hanging fruit, ober they got the Ois thinking, azoy: How many other women have we encountered in the heylige Toirah, or in Tanach, who had roles -at times oversized- in shaping events for the Yiddin and yet never got a shout-out in the text? Who were they and why were they left out?
Let us -as we did last week- harken back and begin with Sefer Bereishis where we first met Mrs. Noiach who is actually referred to as “the wife of Noiach” not once, but at least several times. She was the wife and mother of his kids. She was chosen -seemingly but one of only four women- to be saved from the mabul. She was instructed to enter and leave the ark. She followed all orders. She is always mentioned along with her husband Noiach -whom, as an aside, the RBSO liked because of his “chein” (charm and personality), but never by name. Why not? Ver veyst? For full disclosure, Mrs. Noiach does get a name in the medrish as quoted elsewhere by Rashi.
A few parshas later, we met Mrs. Loit, or Lot’s wife. In the end, she turned out to be more well known because the heylige Toirah itself tells us that she disobeyed direct orders from the malochim and was instantly turned into a pillar of salt. The lesson is powerful: One should never disobey a direct order from a visiting angel! Whatever the case, she is never mentioned by name.
Next up is another quite famous women known to us as “Eishes Potiphar, the wife of Potiphar. She is avada well known as the seductress who came onto Yoisef, tried valiantly mamish to seduce him and then -when he refused over and again- yelled rape. Her accusations could have gotten Yoisef killed. Instead, he did approximately 12 years in a prison. Her role in shaping the future of the Yiddin is undeniable and yet we never hear her name. Why not? Ver veyst?
Last week we also shouted out Bas Paroy, she the daughter of the evil king who issued a decree to kill all Jewish babies. She mamish fetched Moishe from the river, saved him, and helped raise him but does she have a name in the Toirah? Not! Later she gets a name in the medrish. As we began Sefer Shmois, we met Yisroy, he, the priest of Midian and soon father-in-law of Moishe. Yisroy had seven daughters, but we only met one by name, Moishe’s love interest, Tzipoirah. Ober later in in Sefer Bamidbar when his sister and brother spoke some loshoin horo about their brother Moishe and some Cushite wife that he had married -seemingly, according to many a reading- another wife other than the one we met- we never got to hear her name. Of course that led to much speculation in the medrish: Was Moishe divorced from his first wife? Did he indeed have a second wife? Was she a Cushite? What is a Cushite and many more. In the end who was she? We don’t know because the heylige Toirah never identified her.
Over in the Novee -which the yeshiva system did not spend much time teaching us boys- we came across other very prominent figures, some game changers, and yet did we ever know their names? Not! Let us meet a few of the more well known.
Not in any particular order but over in Shoiftim 13 (Judges), we read the story of Monoiach who together with his wife, were barren, childless. The good unnamed wife encounters a malach (angel of the RBSO) and receives nevuah (prophecy) that she will give birth to a son and instructs her on how to raise him as a Nazirite. She shows spiritual sensitivity and perception, even more than her husband. She’s all in, not an inconsequential person. She’s a believer! She even reassures her husband when he fears they will die for having seen an angel. Is she named? Not! She gives birth to none other than Shimshoin Hagibor (Samson); we all know what he accomplished.
And who doesn’t recall the story of Yiftach who killed his own daughter because he had vowed to sacrifice the first person he saw upon return from battle. The entire story is mamish so heartbreaking and yet we never got to properly mourn her as she had no name. Her story too appears in Sefer Shoiftim but two chapters earlier. Why is she unnamed? Ver veyst? And among the most famous, let us also shout out, albeit thousands of years later, the Pilegesh B’giveh (the Concubine of Givah). Her story also appears in the Book of Judges 19, her saga particularly disturbing. The Pilegesh Bigiveh (concubine of Gibeah) was yet another unnamed woman who suffered a horrific fate. She was gang raped and left to die.
The list goes on. There are more and the question on the Ois’s mind this week is this: Why these women went unnamed? The bottom line is that we were never told. The good news is this: The heylige Gemora and various midroshim do often – but zicher not always- take a special interest in unnamed women in the heylige Toirah and Nevi’im, giving them names and exploring their character or backstory. This is part of a broader tradition of filling in narrative lacunas often with moral, symbolic, or didactic goals. From time to time, they assign names to women (and men) who are left unnamed in the written text. And for that reason alone, raboyseyee, you’ve got to love the medrish. They were creative, imaginative. Moreover, who could argue? Naming and other creative juices is what makes these sources come alive.
Limoshol, by way of example only, Loit’s daughters, unnamed in the heylige Toirah get named in the medrish. They are known to us there (Bereishis Rabbah 51:8) as: Paltith and Thamrah. Eishes (wife of) Potiphar, unnamed in the Toirah is outed as Zuleikha in the medrish (also by our Islamic cousins). Not to be left, Paroy’s daughter, unnamed in Toirah (Shmois 2), is given a name in the heylige Gemora (Megillah 13a) where she is called Batya, meaning “daughter of God”
All that being stated, in our parsha, and in the medrish, both Mrs. Koirach and Mrs. Oin ben Peles never get names. Koirach himself is accountable for his rebellion. Was she not named because naming her might have suggested a shared responsibility? Was she? The Toirah emphasizes that Koirach, Doson, Aviram, and their followers are punished for their actions. The focus stays on the public leaders, not their households; perhaps Mrs. Koirach was lucky not be named? Though good fodder for a sheva brochis speech about a good woman and though we all agree that the sheytil story is mamish so creative, Mrs. Peles remains unnamed as well. Was she not named because the heylige Toirah often omits names when the character is secondary? Ver veyst? As mentioned above, Chazal often treated unnamed women in the heylige Torian and Novee with seriousness and respect, often giving them names, virtues, and narrative significance.
The real bottom line is this: We did not write these holy books, and no one ever asked us what should be included. Those in charge of redacting made their own choices. That being stated, of course one might ponder over these anomalies and kler azoy: The heylige Toirah often omits names of characters who are secondary to the main narrative or whose names are not essential for the moral, theological, or legal message. And for that reason, Rochov, Rus, and Tamar are davka named because their actions are transformational, while women like Mrs. Koirach, Mrs. Oin, and others, remain unnamed because the Toirah is not telling their story, but rather using them as types, warnings, or narrative tools. We must kler that their absence from naming is not accidental, but intentional — and in some cases, invites us as readers (with the medrish as interpreter) to fill in the blanks and question the silence.
A gittin Shabbis
The Oisvorfer Ruv
Yitz Grossman
