Chaya Soro 2024: Yishmoel, Good or Bad Guy?
by devadmin | November 22, 2024 12:23 am
Raboyseyee and Ladies,
Yishmoel, Good or Bad Guy?
Shoin, we all agree that Parshas Vayero was electrifying and exciting, mamish. Its myriad storylines included -among other topics- the birth of Yitzchok Ovenu, the drama at the Akeydo, the destruction of Sedoim, the wild episode of Loit and his seductive daughters, Avrohom telling king Avimelech that Soro was his sister, and so much more. Vayero was rich and off the charts. Ober, fear not because Parshas Chaya Soro, most famous because it records the passing of Soro Emainu is equally exciting. In fact, this coming Shabbis, over in the holy Land, the city of Chevroin, duly purchased and paid for by Avrohom Ovenu, will see its population swell by tens of thousands, mostly men and boys, who will sleep near or/and on top of one another just for the experience. It’s predator heaven, mamish. Let’s not forget that this week’s parsha also records the passing of Avrohom ober not before he will get to marry -or remarry- Kitura who, many say might have been Hogor, whom he chased away at Soro’s behest. She’s back! He will also get to enjoy the company of a healthy number of pilagshim (concubines) and seemingly have children with them as well. Good for him and impressive at age 140. We also learn that Avrohom, as Soro promised, did leave the bulk of his estate to his son Yitzchok. The bottom line: After tying him down and nearly slaughtering him as a korban to the RBSO, that was efsher the least he could do. Money heals. Ober many of you mistama glanced over one critical posik in the parsha which tells us azoy: “And to the children of the concubines, he gave gifts,” what we will call parting gifts. As the parsha closes, Yishmoel, Avrohom’s bechoir (first born) who was of course rejected and passed over, will also pass. More on that below. Shoin and just like that in one parsha, Avrohom, Soro and Yishmoel -three members of the mishpocho- were gone. Shoin, let’s tie all this together.
Soro passed away at the age of 127 and was buried in the Meoras HaMachpeilah (cave) in Chevroin, which Avrohom purchased from Ephroin. Worried like any father would be about his then 37-year-old single son, Avrohom sent his servant Eliezer to find a suitable bride for his son Yitzchok. Eliezer returned with a youngish Rivka -some say as young as three some say a bit older, and they got married. Avrohom passed away at the age of 175 and was buried beside Soro by both his sons, Yitzchok and Yishmoel. Remember this last sentence; we’ll talk about its significance later.
As mentioned above, Yishmoel also dies in our parsha but who cares about Yishmoel’s passing? Wasn’t he a bad guy? Seemingly, the heylige Toirah does. In fact, the heylige Toirah will dedicate one full aliya -seven long pisukim- to Yishmoel’s lineage including a delineation of each of his children by name. And the Toirah will also tell us that his children went on to become twelve princes who established the Arabian nations. They are mamish our cousins. Yishmoel died at the age of 137. The last posik of the parsha, one you likely don’t pay much attention to, states: “[Yishmoel’s descendants] lived in the area from Chavilah to Shur, which borders on Egypt, all the way to Assyria. They overran all their brethren.”
We need to efsher examine why the RBSO dedicated seven long pisukim to a person we all consider to be the arch enemy, the Achilles heel of the Yiddin ‘ad hayoim hazeh’ (until today). What’s taka pshat? We’ll get to that soon ober ershtens (firstly) did you know that Parshas Chaya Soro also features real estate negotiations 1.1, the love story of Yitzchok and Rivka, and a most unusual swearing ritual one could ever imagine, whereby the person swearing needed to hold onto the bris (penis) of the person he was swearing to? Who was swearing and what was he holding? Shoin, though you remember kimat nothing from all your years of valgering in yeshiva, no yeshiva bochur ever forgot that Eliezer needed to hold onto Avrohom’s mila while swearing. What happened to good old swearing on a bible with or without one’s raised right hand? Ver veyst? Was this a bakovidick (pun intended) ritual? Ober, hey, it’s in the heylige Toirah. This swearing ritual will appear once again later in Sefer Bereishis.
Shoin, a few weeks back we quoted a machloikes (disagreement) as to whether or not Avrohom was the first Yid. Some said yes and others said no; what else is new? Ober this week, the heylige Ois chapped the rationale and understood for the first time what those saying Avrohom was not the first yid were thinking. Mistama they skipped ahead to this week’s parsha and read how Efroin the Chiti King offered -for free mamish- the cave and land known then and today as the Meoras Hamachpela in Chevroin to Avrohom. Ober our forefather Avrohom said no! He insisted on paying full price. Shoin, case closed! The bottom line: Real Jews don’t offer and insist on paying full price for land offered free! Would any Yid pay full price when offered free or at a decent discount? And which Yid negotiates from free to full price? Is this the Jewish way? Of course not! Might we then understand why some wiser rabbis declared that Avrohom could not have been the first Yid?
On the other hand, wasn’t this the same Avrohom whose negotiating skills showed early promise? It was! Wasn’t this the same Avrohom who became fabulously wealthy by twice trading his eishes chayil (wife) away for an assortment of riches? He was mamish the world’s most skilled negotiator. Twice he got riches and his own wife back. What happened to him? On the other hand, already last week we witnessed a diminution in his skills as he was unable to successfully negotiate with the RBSO over the pending destruction of Sodom and Gamora and this week, as mentioned just above, he insisted on paying full price on a piece of land that was offered free. The bottom line: Even the purchase at full price hasn’t stopped our Arab cousins from trying -thousands of years later- to nullify the sale and chap back that land.
Let’s get back to Yishmoel and quickly look at the second posik of the parsha which tells us that Avrohom arrived to bury his beloved wife, “to mourn and cry for her.” Says the heylige Toirah azoy: And Soro died in Kiryas Arba which is Chevroin, in the land of Canaan, and Avrohom came to eulogize Soro and to bewail her.
ב. וַתָּמָּת שָּרָּ ה בְּקִרְּיַת אַרְּבַע הִוא חֶבְּרוֹן בְּאֶרֶץ כְּנָּעַן
וַיָּבאֹ אַבְּרָּהָּם לִסְּפדֹ לְּשָּרָּה וְּלִבְּכתָֹּהּ :
And while we all recall the rebbe telling us that efsher Avrohom didn’t cry and mourn enough for Soro as evidenced by the small Kuf at the end of the word V’lifkoiso, this past Shabbis the heylige Ois was listening to a lecture where the rabbi made note of the fact that Avrohom was the first and the only of the Ovois (forefathers) who cried for his wife. Ober, was he crying because he mamish missed her, or was he terribly distraught that he lost the ability to continue trading her away for yet more wealth? Avada, the Ois is just kidding; we can assume that Avrohom loved her and missed her. On the other hand, how distraught could he have been when just after her passing and the mourning period, Avrohom was already on the move and he quickly married Ketura who turned out to be quite the fertile myrtle. She bore him six children, they too get shouted oyt by name in our parsha. Was Avrohom efsher not as tzibrochin (broken-hearted) because he had a replacement wife in the wings, ver veyst? Shoin, who are we to judge? Veyter. So happens that just his past shabbis, the heylige Ois was telling a gentleman who recently lost his wife, to begin dating. The Ois shared that men who mamish had loving marriages -these are rear but do exist- should not feel guilt and look to date and remarry ASAP.
Let’s get back to Yishmoel. With the middle east in turmoil and rabbis all over the world referencing -on a regular basis- that the Bnei Yishmoel of today are the radicalized Muslim Arabs, the Ois thought we should take another hard look at Yishmoel. Why should we be spending time on Yishmoel? Because Rashi -and who knew more or better- will shock us by telling us that Yishmoel might not have been the terrible person we all thought. It’s taka emes that Avrohom kicked him out of the house along with his mother Hogor, ober that was under duress. Of course you all recall that Soro gave the expulsion order and the RBSO instructed Avrohom to follow Soro’s orders.
Was there another side to Yishmoel? Did he efsher spend some time at a post high school where he efsher flipped and became a ba’al tshuvah (a penitent)? In past reviews of this parsha, the heylige Ois has mentioned -on more than one occasion- that his three favorite words in the entire heylige Toirah are found in last week’s parsha. They are ‘ba’sher hu shom’ (as he is today) and these words were spoken by the RBSO Himself to the malochim (angels) who inquired as to why Yishmoel, still a child, but near death from lack of water, should be saved. And this week, we will explore these words again and how they may help us chap why Rashi, the heylige Gemora and the medrish come to the conclusion that Yishmoel may have done tshuvah (repentance). Was Yishmoel mamish a penitent? Was he the first?
Was Yishmoel really as bad as we were taught in yeshiva? Maybe he was. Do you know anyone named Yishmoel? Have you ever heard from friends that they were considering the name Yishmoel in case of a boy? On the other hand, if he was taka as bad as we were taught, how was it that we find that a great Tanna was named Yishmoel? What’s a Tana you ask? Och and vey, seemingly you remember mamish nothing. Nu, Tanna’im were rabbinic sages whose views were recorded in the Mishnah. What’s a Mishna you ask? Yikes! The Mishna is a compilation of the first written ‘oral laws.’ The period of the Tannaim, also referred to as the Mishnaic period, lasted about 210 years. Noch a mol (one more time): In short, the Tannaim were Rabbinic sages.
Nu, we ask again azoy: Was Yishmoel a bad guy, or good guy? Let’s explore. A totally bad guy he couldn’t have been because he is shouted out by name in three consecutive parshas and we know from elsewhere in the heylige Toirah that the RBSO has a short fuse for troublemakers. Most of them are gone in the very parsha where they are first mentioned. Then again, He did allow Noiach’s generation to party and orgy for 120 years, ver veyst? Then again, none were mentioned by name. Then again, you’re still alive! On the other hand, Yishmoel plays a prominent role in the last three parshas, a role typically reserved for those the RBSO liked very much. We met him at birth two weeks back in Lech Lecho with the promise to Avrohom that he, Yishmoel would be a great nation. Last week in Vayero, Soro insisted that Avrohom send him away yet the RBSO saved his life. And this week, his life ends and his progeny documented. For a bad man, he got lots of Toirah time. Is there more to him? And though we all grew up thinking that Yishmoel was a very bad man, could there be another side to the story?
First some background and then a few revealing and surprising medroshim. Back in Lech Lecho, with Soro still bereft of children, seemingly barren at the time, and already married to her husband for some decades, Avrohom, at his wife’s insistence, had relations -of a sexual nature- with Hogor, her then slave or servant, or both. Nu, as is many times the case, the shiksa got pregnant immediately, Yishmoel was born. As an aside, 13 years would pass before Avrohom and Soro, now rejuvenated, had Yitzchok. Also, as an aside, any wife that allows, or in this case, recommends, or maybe even insists, that her husband have relations with and also marry a hot shiksa is mamish an eishes chayil and for that reason alone is deserving of the moniker ‘Soro Emainu.’ She knew how to keep her man. Veyter.
In any event, we learn that Avrohom was gantz tzifridden (satisfied) with Yishmoel. He was? He loved him as any father should his own son. Soro, not so much. Then again, she wasn’t his real mother. Says the heylige Toirah that his reaction to the divine promise regarding having another son was to proclaim azoy: “If only Yishmoel would live before You!” Avrohom seems to be saying that he would be perfectly happy to see Yishmoel as his heir-as the one who continues his life’s work and perpetuates his special relationship with the RBSO.
Yishmoel, good or bad? Let’s learn what some had to say. Seemingly, many agree that he was both, ober, how could this be? Raboyseyee it’s mamish poshit. Seemingly for most of his life he was taka a bad guy and will be accused in the heylige Gemora and other sources of many crimes including rape, murder, avoido zoro and maybe also eating cholov akum, tearing toilet paper on shabbis, mixed swimming and also dancing. Some say he didn’t wear a white shirt on shabbis, others, that he didn’t wear his talis over his head and that his talis didn’t have enough silver. Other suggest that he -like many of you chazerim, especially when younger- had strange thoughts during shmoheh esray, if you chap.
On the other hand, we’re about to learn that Yishmoel died as a tzadik, a righteous person mamish. And how could that be? That’s also quite poshit (simple): He did tshuvah (he repented). Was he the first baal tshuvah? Seemingly not and taka the medrish will teach us that at least two preceded him. Soon we’ll tell you, ober let’s stay on point. Yishmoel was a baal tshuva?
Does the heylige Toirah tell us anywhere that Yishmoel may have mamish done tshuvah? It does not! Does the Toirah mention anywhere, in any of its five books that he might have done tshuvah? Is the concept of tshuvah even discussed in the heylige Toirah? It is not about any one individual. Ober that did not prevent our very wise rabbis, our sages of old, to conclude that Yishmoel and several others may have taka done tshuvah. And for the Shabbis tish and double dessert, here they are by name:
Says the medrish [Bereishis Raba 22] azoy: the first baal tshuvah was Kayin (Cain) after killing Hevel (and of course after tough questioning from the RBSO). He did so by confessing and having charoto (regretting) for the crime. Another medrish (Tanchuma Shmois 15) that Terach, Avrohom’s father also did tshuvah. We are also taught in yeshiva that three of the RBSO’s chosen tribes, the heylige shvotim sinned and did tshuvah. They are Levi who atoned for killing all male inhabitants of the city of Shechem, and Reuven by fasting following the bed- moving, some say mounting, incident, if you chap, with Bilha his stepmother (a few weeks away). The medrish Hagodol (Devorim 6:4) will tell us that his tshuvah was accepted, and let’s not forget Yehuda – he, the great leader of the shvotim who had a shtikel roadside encounter with Tamar. His tshuvah came about after he confessed that Tamar was carrying his child (twins) from the paid encounter, and as a result of his admission, merited -according to the heylige Gemora (Soita 7b)- oilom habo (the word to come). Shoin, we all knew about those, ober, what about Yishmoel? When and how did he repent? Let’s find out:
Says the heylige Toirah (Bereishis 25:9) azoy: “His (Avrohom) sons Yitzchok and Yishmoel buried him (Avrohom) in Meoras HaMachpeila (the Cave of the Pairs), in the field of Efroin ben Tzoichar the Hittite which faces Mamre. And? What has this to do with repentance? Shoin, let’s look in on Rashi who pieced it all together. Says Rashi based on the heylige Gemora (Buba Basra 16b) azoy: since the verse lists Yitzchok before Yishmoel when referring to Avrohom’s burial, it’s an indication that Yishmoel had repented (tshuvah). OMG! Seemingly our sages learned from this posik that Yishmoel had acknowledged Yitzchok as Avrohom’s true heir, and had thus honored him as such. Is that it? Efsher you’re klerring azoy: is tshuvah so easy? Did Yishmoel do tshuvah or did our sages deduce that he did tshuvah just because Yitzchok’s name is mentioned first at the levaya? Can one isolated act be a true indication of one’s repentance?
But didn’t Soro tell Avrohom that Yishmoel was mamish giferlich because he was being Mitzachake (making sport)? Moreover, didn’t we learn from the Medrish and other sources of all the giferliche behavior Yishmoel indulged in? Doesn’t the Medrish tell us that his entire life, not only his adolescence, was filled with idolatrous indiscretions which included preying on others and so much more? And didn’t the medrish tell us that while being mitzachake, he killed, stole, committed adultery and that was all in one day? Yes and yes: That’s exactly what they told us. And suddenly Rashi, based on the heylige Gemora, wants us to believe that Yishmoel was a new man? Was showing up to his father’s funeral and allowing his younger brother to lead the procession mamish enough?
The bottom line: When the heylige Gemora wants to find a way of making someone look good, they know just how. Cleanup in aisle 5! Was the heylige Gemora the first to develop the concept of reputation management? So it does appear. The medrish, based on the Gemora and looking at the words of the Toirah, concluded that Yishmoel was a changed man.
And while there may have been some initial disenchantment and tension with Avrohom’ s monotheistic beliefs and ethical practices, which may have been exacerbated by being kicked out of the house and left to die, Yishmoel later repented, and took up Avrohom’ s faith and lifestyle once again during his father’s lifetime. Accordingly, he died as a tzadik. Shoin!
A tzadik mamish? Ober how? Raboyseyee the answer is mamish so gishmak, even you can do tshuvah. Yishmoel couldn’t go back and undo his past or his bad behavior. Then again, where is it written that one has to erase his entire past to start anew? Starting new means taka just that. The RBSO does the erasing and He judged Yishmoel with those three words from last week’s parsha – באשר הוא שם (as he is at the present). His new behavior meant he was a new man. And when Yishmoel, despite being Avrohom’s firstborn let Yitzchok precede him, because he accepted that Yitzchok was a better man than was he, he was exhibiting new behavior.
And as further proof of his piety, says Reb Yoichonon (Buba Basra 16b) azoy: Regarding Yishmoel, two terms are used (25:17) to describe his passing: “Geviah” (expiration) and “Aseifa” (gathering). The heylige Gemora assumes then that these verbs are used only in connection with particularly righteous individuals. Why? They are used for Avrohom (25:8); Yitzchok (35:29); Yaakov (49:33); Aharoin (Bamidbar 20:26, 29); and Moishe (Devorim 32:3). And if the RBSO used them for Yishmoel, he was a good guy. Perhaps he was nevewr that bad. And if he was, he was righteous near the end of his life. “And these are the years of the life of Yishmoel: 100 years and 30 years. And where else do we find such language where the heylige Toirah described the years of a person as having lived years and years? Right here in our own parsha where we are taught in the opening posik that Soro lived 100 years, twenty years and seven years. Pshat being that she was pure and righteous at 100 as she was at 20. Yishmoel, too, was seemingly also in the end, a good guy. Later generations of the extended Yishmoel mishpocho, not so good. And the lesson and take away? One can always do tshuvah. Of course, we won’t necessarily live to 127 or 135 and therefore since we don’t know when we may pass or just otherwise die, one must consider tshuvah every day. Of course, that’s easier said than done but a nice thought nonetheless.
A gittin Shabbis!
The Heylige Oisvorfer Ruv
Yitz Grossman
Source URL: https://oisvorfer.com/chaya-soro-2024-yishmoel-good-or-bad-guy/